THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

It was the day.

She was returning to the city after two long years from the states, we school friends had organized a reunion for her. Things did change quite a bit for her. Good dressing sense, more classified personality from before and yeah, that accent. Nobody was eager enough than me for her to come. Five years of schooling together but I never told anyone about my feelings for her. Never after the moment when she once punned on me that I was more like a brother to her.

Instagram-proof that she is dating back in the US and was pretty much committed to her guy.  Didn’t affect me much. I have been used to these pain ever since she left us. It was just that one-sided love which kept me thinking about her more often.

As I was talking about her improved dressing sense, she lightened that already enlightened evening with a red backless dress she wore.

 Damn, am I the only one who fell for these girl?

 She came in and started hugging all of her friends. I was standing right behind her so that I could avoid that hug. I was too nervous to hold her.

What if I hold her too tight?

What if I hug her too light?

I was mumbling to myself while she lost sight of me and we couldn’t even shake hands either. She went to her girlfriends and did what she did best- gossiping. On the other side, the dudes were talking how hot she has become since returning and how they could have possibly dated her if she never left India. And I was just staring at her thinking about all the chances I missed back then when I could have simply told her how much I liked her. Maybe, she could have said a NO but at present, rejection seemed better than sulking about the moment thinking what if she said a YES?

I was totally lost in myself when suddenly someone patted me on back.

“Hey. I thought you couldn’t make it today.” It was her.

“How could I even possibly think of not meeting you?” was what came into my mind.

“No, I was just around. Was probably busy with some other guys out there. You tell, how are you?” was what came from my mouth.

“Everything is fine. Just came to finish all the proceeding of our properties. We will shift to USA permanently.”

Not that I ever saw a future with her but the potentiality of never getting to see her again broke me.

“Wow, that’s cool. I hope its great back there with your (AHEM) boyfriend.”

She started blushing.

“Yea he is really into me but it’s just a casual fling and I don’t expect anything out of it.”

Before we could talk more, her friend from behind started telling she has something important to tell her. Though she hesitated a bit, she finally gave up and went with her.

I spent the rest of the get-together looking at all the people excited to meet their school-time crush and staring at her thinking about the possibilities of she and me together.

And suddenly, I saw her coming towards me. I being the nervous one started sweating bullets. Before she could coem up with anything, I was like,

“Tell me anything, I could help with”

She rubbing her shoulders with with her palms, “No, actually I was leaving as it’s getting too late. I thought it would be impolite to go away without telling you as we really didn’t catch up the usual way earlier in the evening.”

I was pleased with her gesture. She meant “THE USUAL WAY” as if she want to hug me?

Nervously, I tried lening towards slightly to embrace her but my introvert-self got the better of me and I stopped myself in the midst without letting anything happen. She wasn’t taken aback either. Maybe, she wasn’t expecting a hug after all and I was just acting all creepy.

“Are you alright? She asked.

“Yea I am fine. Thanks. Anyways, bye.”

“Yea you too. By the way, I am here for a couple more weeks, so see you around.”

“Yea sure.” Hell with seeing around. I won’t able to stand her right after what I just did.

We waved each other goodbyes. A part of me said to just go and tell her how I felt while my pessimist self-pulled me back. In the midst of optimism and pessimism, somewhere from inside I shouted her name 'AASIMAH'

She turned back as if she was expecting her name to be called out. She excitedly asked, “Yes?”

“Take Care” was what I came up with. (FACEPALM).

THE WORST PART WAS NOT THAT I COULD NEVER TELL HER HOW I FELT OR HOW WE NEVER HAD A FUTURE TOGETHER,

THE WORST PART WAS THAT SHE MIGHT READ THIS SOMEDAY BUT WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT IT’S SHE WHOM I AM TALKING ABOUT.