Respected sir,
It’s me. Didn’t recognise me? It’s okay. I never occupied that first
bench to get your attention either. I never gave you my expensive pens and not
asking for it later. I never conveyed your message to other staff members ever.
I was bound to be unrecognized. Or should I say, I was never allowed to be
recognized.
The academic session began with
that first lecture when you showed up and asked to introduce ourselves along with
the “PERCENTAGE’ we passed out with. Henceforth, I learned to judge people by
their academic capability. Not to mention, your changes in gesture towards students
according to their marks. That “IMPRESSIVE” look to the 90% guy and that “GOOD
FOR NOTHING” look to the student with 50%. If only you had considered to ask
them what other things they were good at.
Then came the time when you are
supposed to make us sit because of course, we are too novice to decide what’s
our best position in the class and you better than anyone knew the right bench we
deserved. If you haven't got the idea by now, I was made to sit in the last bench
because, myself 60% but I am good in…
Never mind doesn’t matter.
You taught us since the beginning
that education is important. Education as in history, science and maths you
meant. Not that sports, arts and drama. That is just for the sake of our
extra-curricular activity right? And probably for the annual function. For the rest of the year, we are just last benchers.
By the time, I somehow managed to
reach up to the level of your expectations, you said maybe I was trying too
hard on my brains and should just focus in getting the passing marks. My simple
perception on achieving knowledge outside the books was hence nullified by your
fact that it can get me nothing if it isn't achieved from the book itself. Like any other taunt, I decided to not
let it get under my skin.
“Your kid is a loner. Tell him to
sit along with the first benchers so that he can get some help.” Those were the
exact thing that you said during the parents-teacher counselling. But
obviously, you wouldn’t tell them that making me sit on the last bench was indeed
your idea in the first place. And hence, it was finally shoved down to my
throat that my love for writing won’t get me far enough but an A+ on my report
card would do. I had to give up on my diary and had to switch it with the
assignment book. Not that I was never ever interested in studies but making me do that at the expense
of my passion somehow made me lose interest in it. I finally ended up studying.
And fortunately scored decent too. Of course, not well enough in your eyes but it will
do right?
So few years from now, I decided
to take up a stream where I can secure myself with a good future. And as for writing,
it can be done anytime right?
Maybe, after school, or after graduation, or
after getting a job? Okay after settling down? Oh come on, are you still a kid
that you need to own a diary and write down stuffs that comes in your mind? You
should have done it when you were younger.
Sir, your education system made
me quit that extra-curricular activity and now the society asks me why I didn’t
do it at the time when I was supposed to.
Yet, I am still trying to justify
my degree which wasn’t even my own choice in the beginning. And what about
writing? Well, not a diary anymore but the writings somehow found its place in
the trash folder in MY COMPUTER.
Yours respectfully,
Back Bencher
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